Rustler – GTA 2, but with horses, medieval robbery game

Imagine GTA 2 or San Andreas, but set in medieval times, where you steal horses instead of cars. Use elegant swords as an alternative to worn baseball bats, or crossbows in place of an assault rifle. Enter the merciless criminal underworld, where a local Bard is your private human radio, with all the top rap songs available. Rustler, the totally historically inaccurate top-down action game, is in the works and will serve you a megadose of Monty Python inspired humor as soon as it gets developed.

Embark on a mission to find the Holy Grail, help the nobleman in becoming a gangster rapper, fire someone who believes the Earth is round from a trebuchet, or choose others from the huge range of absurd tasks available in-game. You can also ignore the missions and just simply take the sword, spear, crossbow, or whatever you have at your disposal to start the madness in your town by challenging all the knights in the realm. How long will you survive being under the city’s militia radar?

Wishlist the game on Steam (Windows, Mac) ( to be always up-to-date with all the news from its unquestionably exciting development.

Rustler is an open-world, top-down action game paying tribute to the good old GTA 2 style and gameplay, fusing it with a historically inaccurate medieval setting. Play as Guy, whose parents apparently were too lazy to give him a proper name. Experience feudal injustice, witch-hunting, and join big tournaments. Meet valiant, yet incredibly stupid knights. Complete a wide variety of twisted missions and quests, or don’t give a damn about the plot and bring mayhem in the villages and cities. Choose to go on foot, or by a stolen horse. Fight with a sword or pick a fancy automatic crossbow. All that, spiced up with an inappropriate Monty Python inspired sense of humor.

Be a bold, bald thug in a medieval sandbox
Rustler’s world is filled with humor, anachronisms, and pop culture references. Remember Monty Python? Ever been towed for parking in a “NO HORSE ZONE”? Speaking of horses – what if they were treated like Pokémon?

Wreak havoc in top-down, old-school combat
Use swords, spears, turds, and crossbows. Want to get more efficient? Try holy hand grenades or… horses. Nothing’s more deadly than hooves galloping in your direction.

Screw everyone over to win half the kingdom
As a poor peasant, you really need to get creative in order to win the Great Tournament™. Form weird alliances, double-cross your foes, and dig up dinosaur skeletons in a light, easy-to-understand and hard-to-empathize with story.

Hire bards to aid you musically in battle
A bard can be your sweaty personal radio. Not only will he not leave your side, even in the midst of the bloodiest of conflicts, he will also change the song’s dynamic depending on the action on-screen. Moreover, you can express a desire to change the tune by punching him in the face.

A lot of horsin’ around
Shoot cows into the sky, dress up as a guard or even Death himself, smoke weed by accident, draw fancy shapes with a plowing cart, survive a full-on guard onslaught after killing half the city… And that’s only a few of the many crazy things you can do in Rustler.

Rustler is still under development. Its release will be announced at a later date.